Zucchini on the Cob
A surprising twist on a simple favorite!
Boy there’s nothing that says “summer!!” to me like a backyard garden full of zucchini! Every summer I can’t give them all away, I have so many! So many years, so many zucchinis, but there’s one in particular I’ll never forget.
It wasn't even from my garden, it was from the farmers market. It was a funny looking zucchini. It was bent in the shape of an L, and at the top it had a few scratches that looked like a face. It looked like a happy little green person sitting down!
I wanted to buy it, not to eat, but to set on a little miniature wicker couch I bought from Pier 1. It would have looked so cute on my windowsill. But this old man picked the funny zucchini out of the pile at the farmers market stand and bought it before I could get to it!
Well, normally I would've let it go, but I was feeling extra spunky that day. He was a nice looking old man, but he wasn't as nice as that zucchini was cute and quirky!
What would be the harm, I thought, if I bought some zucchini and traded one of mine for what I had already started to call Mr. Sitting Zucchini (tee hee!)?
I had a little plan and everything! As he pushed his granny cart, I came up from behind him holding a zucchini in each hand and said, “Sir! A zucchini fell out of your cart! Look, it looks just like mine!” I held them both up. He didn’t really say much back!
“Let me put it back for you!” I said. I reached in the cart and felt around for Mr. Sitting Zucchini, thinking I’d feel that funny L shape right quick. But I couldn’t find it. What was I going to do?
So I pretended I’d thrown out my back. “Ow!” I said. “Ow! Ow! Ow! I can’t move my back!” Meantime I kept rooting around for my little L zucchini in the old man’s cart.
After about a minute, I found it. But now I couldn’t stand up or people would know I hadn’t hurt my back!
I stayed hunched over, pulled out Mr. Sitting Zucchini, dropped the zucchini from my other hand into his bag, and turned to leave. But I was so dizzy from leaning over that I fell! Into the old man!
“Aaugh,” he said. He tumbled to the ground and I landed on top of him! “Aaaaa, my back!” he said. (Isn't that something!) There was zucchini everywhere! And then someone said, “Hey, that thief just stole one of that man’s zucchinis!”
The jig was up, right? I stood up and turned to run, but I stepped on the old man’s stomach! And he threw up! I felt bad, but I’d worked so hard to get Mr. Sitting Zucchini that I just had to get home!
I heard someone yell, “Stop!” and saw a police officer running my way. I ran for my life! And then I thought, “Where can I hide this zucchini?”
Even if the cop caught me, I couldn’t bear to part with Mr. Sitting Zucchini. So I put the zucchini where the sun doesn’t shine…
Under my armpit! But since it was a sitting zucchini, it stuck right out! Where else could I hide the zucchini?!
Well, I’m not gonna say it out loud, but let’s just say that in its new location, that zucchini was doing a little more than just sitting haha!
The police officer caught up with me at a bus stop and said, “Someone told me you stole a zucchini from that old man.” I said, “Gee officer, I don’t see any zucchini, do you?” “I suppose you’re right!” he said.
Then a bus pulled up. I’d driven to the farmers market, but I told the officer, “Here’s my bus!” and hopped on. I’d planned on getting a lot more vegetables at the farmer's market than that one zucchini, but I guess my day didn’t exactly go as planned ha!
Lucky me, this was a bus that went right to my neighborhood. I waited till I got home to take Mr. Zucchini out of his “seat.” I mean…you know, I didn’t want to raise any suspicions. Although it was an awfully bumpy bus ride, haha!
Anyway, here’s my recipe for zucchini on the cob!
Zucchini on the Cob
SERVINGS: 1 PREP: 3 MIN COOK: 0 MIN TOTAL TIME: 3 MIN
You won't believe how easy this is!
- 1 zucchini
Place zucchini on plate.
Season it with salt and pepper.
Pick it up and eat!